


Life In Plastic

by DEx Hooker (FangBanger)



Series: Summer Challenge [2]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-21
Updated: 2014-05-21
Packaged: 2018-01-25 23:08:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1665884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FangBanger/pseuds/DEx%20Hooker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Killian makes an interesting discovery whilst helping unpack Emma's boxes from New York, which leaves her explaining to her pirate the modern options of a single girl.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Life In Plastic

**Author's Note:**

> Title: Life in Plastic  
> Series: Summer Challenge  
> Day: Two  
> Author: Roguie  
> Fandom: Once Upon a Time  
> Pairing: Hook/Emma  
> Words: 1000+  
> Rating: T  
> Summary: Killian makes an interesting discovery whilst helping unpack Emma's boxes from New York, which leaves her explaining to her pirate the modern options of a single girl.  
> Disclaimer: OuaT still isn't mine. They've not yet been arrested for public indecency which means I've not yet had my hands on them properly. It doesn't air on HBO and I'm not making a cent, so I can safely say, not it!  
> A/N: Okay, so funny story behind this one – this prompt was given to me by my 10 year old and my 4 year old who were concerned I wasn't writing today. I'd told them of my challenge and that I needed to write at least 100 words but I couldn't think of inspiration off hand. My 10 year old then proceeds to tell me that my inspiration shall be Bob, which my 4 year old then takes upon himself to repeat, loudly. They demanded that I write about Bob. Now, I have no idea who Bob is, or why they wanted me to write about him so insistently, but I'll tell you, my husband and I just about cried from laughter when I had to nod, because dammit, Bob was inspiration. Now they're very pleased with themselves and I'm still giggling in disbelief that this conversation ever happened. So, let there be Bob.
> 
> Requests are still welcome and needed, I'll work my way through the ones I've gotten so far – but this one just couldn't be ignored.

~~~?~~~

She'd thought nothing of letting Killian help unpack her new apartment. He'd been through enough forms of hell with her over time that running the risk of him finding a random thong left over from her under cover days was not the daunting horror that it may have been a few months in the past.

She listened to him muttering to himself as he slid his hook through the thin tape that held together the cardboard, sorting his way through seemingly endless boxes marked miscellaneous.

“By the Gods, Swan, I'd swear your mother said you travelled light when you moved, and yet I find the amount of refuse you've collected astounding.” He held up his hook pointedly, the ugliest table doily known to man dangling from the end.

“Hey, the sweetest old lady in my building made that for us. Don't knock it.”

He stared at it in consternation, one eyebrow lifted quizzically. “What is it?”

Emma gaped at him for a moment before busting into a series of giggles. “It sits on a table underneath other stuff to protect the surface. It's useful!” At his lifted eyebrow she shook her head, waiving her hand dismissively. “Yeah, yeah. Put it in the donations box. I'm never going to use it.”

Killian shook his head, chuckling softly as he tossed the crocheted creation into the rapidly growing box of donations. He looked back into the box he was unpacking, frowning as he picked up a medium sized dark plastic case. 

“You've kept trinkets from old conquests?” he questioned curiously, hook picking at the tiny plastic latch on the case.

“What? No? Why?” Emma finished unpacking the last of Henry's games and their books onto the shelving surrounding their television. Just as he began flicking the clasp open, she caught sight of what he had in his hand and turned a sickly shade of green. 

“No? Then who is Bob, love?” He lifted his eyebrow teasingly, his hook still playing with the catch. “Given our still relatively new romantic status, I think I should be aware of anyone important enough to have his own case amongst your belongings.”

Emma swallowed thickly, eyeing the case in panic as she tried to casually make her way to Killian's side, reaching trembling fingers out, her face schooled in an expression of nonchalance. “It's, um, definitely not what you're expecting and I'd rather not get into this conversation tonight, so if you don't mind... Killian!”

With a wicked grin he popped the latch, opening the top of the case and peering inside. His eyebrows reached new heights as he looked back up at Emma in pure confusion before back to the case and then back at Emma. “Now I must insist you tell me the story of Bob, who seems to have left your presence a piece short. Should I be afraid for my manhood, Swan?”

Emma closed her eyes, her cheeks burning bright red as she reached out and grabbed the case from his hand and immediately latching it closed. “It's a natural thing for single women to have on hand... you know, for emergencies.”

“I'm failing to understand, love. You relieved Bob of his manhood to combat your...”

“Oh, God,” she muttered quietly, tossing the case back to him, burying her face in her hands as she collapsed into the sofa, pulling her knees up to her chin. “It's not like it's real. It's just a piece of rubber. They come in all sizes and colours. It runs on batteries. It's for fun... when you're not with someone and don't feel like a hookup, it usually does the trick, and why am I explaining this to you? Just kill me.”

Killian bit the inside of his cheek, trying to contain his mirth as he glanced back into the case one final time. “And you've named it Bob?”

She sighed, shaking her head. “Bob is like slang for it. Battery Operated Boyfriend. B.O.B.”

“Ah. Bob.”

He was silent for long enough that Emma finally chanced looking through her fingers to watch as he poked at the instrument curiously, scowling at the texture. “Are you satisfied now? Can we forget this conversation ever happened?”

A wicked grin slowly spread across his features, his blue eyes darkening as he met her gaze. “I think the question at hand is whether you're satisfied now, love.” 

“Excuse me?” Emma flushed an even deeper red, her mouth falling slightly open as he crawled towards her, deftly sliding Bob from its case and rolling it through his fingers. Her throat grew suddenly and inexplicably dry as she watched him approach, his gaze never breaking from her own.

“You heard me, Swan. Do I satisfy you?”

Emma whimpered softly, her body trembling as he reached her feet, spreading her legs open and situating himself between her knees, his hook slowly stroking the inside of her thigh.

“I didn't catch that, love.” His grin grew wider as he pressed his lips to her knee, bringing the toy up between them, tapping it lightly against her stomach. 

“Yes, dammit!” she hissed at him quietly, biting her lip as he moved his lips slowly from her knee, trailing a warm path up her thigh, tugging at her jeans with insistent teeth, thrilling in the shiver that passed through her.

“Then I'd suggest you bid Bob a fond farewell, love, as he seems a mite under geared for what I've got in mind this evening.”

A half giggle escaped her lips as she leaned down, tugging on Killian's lapels to pull him off his knees, grabbing the toy from his fingers and tossing it over her shoulder in the general direction of the garbage boxes. “See ya, Bob,” she whispered as she drew Killian's mouth to her own, losing herself in the gentle teasing of his kiss.

“Wise choice, lass,” Killian murmured quietly, leaning back and allowing his weight to take them both to the floor, grinning madly under the caress of Emma's quiet laughter, groaning softly under the caress of her suddenly insistent fingers. 

He took the entire night to slowly and repeatedly prove to her that their heated reality was leagues better than any substitution she could find in a shop. However, once she'd fallen soundly asleep, curled up amongst the pillows and blankets they'd left strewn across the living room floor, Killian recovered Bob from where it had fallen and slipped it back into its case, tucking the entire contraption away in the back of Emma's closet.

It seemed an irresistible adventure to consider approaching her with the toy again one night. He licked his lips slowly, blue eyes burning dark as his imagination lead him down a path that left him suddenly hard and wanting.

He woke his princess with a kiss and a wicked grin that left her breathless. 

~~~Fin~~~


End file.
